If We Don't Stop Global Warming Immediately, Everyone Dies!

(Since Daniel Greenfield/Sultan Knish could not post today, we instead present this article from noted climate researcher, Dr. Burton Wallace)

If We Don't Stop Global Warming Immediately, Everyone Dies!

Dr. Burton Wallace PhD

If you ever picked up a copy of Newsweek, shop for groceries or attend a local elementary school-- you probably already know that Global Warming (peal of thunder) is the most terrifying not all made up crisis to hit the world since the Y2K bug and the Swine Flu epidemic that has already claimed millions of lives.

You might be sitting in your above water home right now and scoffing at my words, but you'll be scoffing out of the other side of your mouth when the icebergs melt and you're sharing your basement with a very angry Polar Bear. Believe me I have spent months of my life living in Antarctica side by side with very angry Polar Bears and I can promise you that you won't enjoy the experience.

I realize that the leak of private emails from the Anglia Climactic Research Institute has undermined some people's confidence in the charts and graphs we show people on television. And I really do understand why. It's because you people are ignorant swine unfit to kiss the boots of brilliant scientists like me. You probably think the earth is still flat and that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. People like you persecuted Galileo, hounded Newton and picked up torches and burned out Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. You understand nothing of science. Nothing!

Sultan Knish